Here's the scenario: you've met an amazing woman on one of the top free dating sites in Chicago. You've been out a few times, you're now 'official,' and you're going out for dinner on Friday.
All good! However, your last date ended early as the conversation got a bit stilted.
Now you're terrified of awkward silences making what seems like a great connection go stale. Yikes.
Making conversation is a skill. But, unfortunately, it doesn't come naturally to everyone, and things such as nerves and lack of confidence can all make a dent in your chatting abilities, especially if you have a significant emotional investment in this relationship going well.
Never fear; the Best10 dating experts are here to lend a hand!
From advice about the best dating apps in San Francisco to help with maintaining a fresh new relationship, the team has created this guide to make sure your date night conversations never run cold.
Before we give you some handy conversation starters to hack date night to perfection, let's think about context and body language.
Someone who feels interesting, engaged, and attractive is way easier to chat to than someone who's fed up with vying for your attention away from your mobile.
Sure, you got on like a house on fire when DMing on the top free dating sites in Chicago, but if she feels you're not all in when it matters, you're going to have a rough ride making a romantic evening turn into something special.
Here are some guidelines:
1. BE PRESENT! Put your watch away, turn off your phone, don't eavesdrop on strangers, and keep your eyes in their sockets when the sexy waitress walks past.
2. Show you are listening with your body language. For example, look at your girlfriend when she's speaking, turn towards her, pick up on signals, and respond to what she has to say.
3. Give indications that you appreciate her conversation. Nod along, ask questions and give a gentle mmhmm - anything that means she feels relaxed and able to keep chatting away, saving you the task of finding something new to talk about.
Remember that body language is more potent at communicating our intentions than anything we have to say.
Make sure you're there for the right reasons, and it won't just be down to you to bring up topics that you think will keep the momentum flowing.
So you've got a few ideas in your pocket already, but did you know that it's very common for guys to find it difficult to chat - or pick up where they left off on the best dating apps in San Francisco?
Not knowing what to say to your girlfriend does not mean you don't care about her!
However, the majority of women communicate more through verbal cues than men. Take two guys on a road trip, and you're all but guaranteed they will spend some of that in comfortable silence.
Women are more likely to chat and make small talk to pass the time, so you must put effort into that dialogue so your girlfriend feels valued.
Here's a secret - if you're looking for conversation tips, the LAST thing it should be about is yourself.
That doesn't mean women are self-centered, but it means that initiating a meaningful conversation is about creating the right atmosphere and connection, rather than launching into a monologue about your day just to fill the silence.
With all that said and done, let's move onto the good stuff - how to get the conversation going!
Let's run through some of the best ways to find something to talk about with your girlfriend.
How was your day? Show an interest, invite a response, and demonstrate that you care how your girlfriend feels and how her day has gone.
Ask her to elaborate! If she's told you a story, ask more about it. Has it happened before, does she think that's strange, would she do something similar?
What did you want to be when you were a kid? This icebreaker is a great one. Not only will everyone have an answer, but it also evokes happy childhood memories and encourages us to daydream and fantasize - all enjoyable emotions that can enhance the date night experience!
Chat about food. It's a pretty easy topic if you're out for dinner, but still, a universal topic that makes everyone more relaxed. Try a marmite question - love it or hate it?
Play a silly game. Romance is fun, silly, and enjoyable, so don't feel that you have to ask deep and significant questions about the meaning of life to keep the connection going! Silly questions can involve 'this or that' as an example - e.g., would you rather lose your phone or lose your wallet? Would you rather ride an elephant or ride a dolphin?
Tell her something about your day (yep, you're allowed a little spot here and there) - and say you've been waiting to tell her about it, or you couldn't wait to see her to share a funny story from your day. That isn't just a way to start a discussion but shows you have been thinking about her and value her opinions.
As well as having loads of ways to start a chat, there are a few things we'd always recommend avoiding - unless you're prepared for the possibility that things turn slightly sour if you hit a nerve.
That includes:
Past relationships
Controversial topics
Upsetting news stories
Death and bereavement
We get that you're hardly going to bring up your girlfriend's late grandmother on a date, but it's very easy to fall into a trip hazard!
For example, a guy trying to impress might start talking about the afterlife or something else pretty profound and hit a trigger that results in floods of tears rather than floods of romance.
There isn't any secret to having a great date night, but if you show affection, pay attention, and make an effort, it shouldn't be too hard to keep the conversation lowing - even if you do most of the listening.
